This past weekend we splurged and went on a proper, albeit short, vacation with our best friends Sarah and Claudia and their two adorable girls.  To say that Ruby loves Natasha and would follow her to the ends of the earth is a severe understatement. Natasha, a full year and two weeks older, is the wiser, cooler, faster kid… at least in Ruby’s book. Anything Natasha does, Ruby absolutely MUST do too.  And now Natasha is a big sister to the beautiful, beguiling Aviva… all of 12-weeks old and full of those awesome baby smiles, coos and stretches.  I’d forgotten how fun it truly is to watch babyTV. Especially with a happy baby, which Aviva certainly is.  And Natasha is an excellent big sister.  She is so proud of Aviva, gentle, loving and sweet.  So, of course, Ruby adopted Aviva as her honorary little sister and was also gentle, loving and sweet.

When Claudia got pregnant, I was also pregnant for the first time.  We’d just found out and they were among the first people we told when we went up north… over a year ago now.  If that pregnancy had stuck, we’d have been vacationing with a 4 month old… it would have been a very different vacation.  And now I look at my two dear friends Katie and Jen and their newborns and think “If that second pregnancy had stuck…”

And then I feel Emme kick around, doing goodness know what in there, and I feel both incredibly blessed and prayerful.  Prayerful that we’ve gotten this far – 26 weeks! – and she’s this active.  Prayerful that next year on this date I won’t have as much time to reflect on the pregnancies, the babies we lost because I’ll have my hands full with a bouncy, happy, healthy 10 month old.  But that’s next year.

So this year, on this day, I say a prayer of gratitude for all that I learned about loss and grief, a prayer of gratitude for the strength and love in my marriage, and most of all a prayer of gratitude for all that is yet to come.